Goodbye 2013 // Hello 2014

Alright, so i thought i wouldn't make any New Year resolution this year. But as I came back from our annual countdown celebration at Jian Ming's house, while lying on my bed getting ready to sleep, it suddenly hit me that today is the start of a New Year, a New beginning! Time files so fast. I had a flashback of every event that i could remember of in 2013. Ahh.. I realized I need to get out of my comfort zone, because if i'm not gonna do it now, when will I? The thing about me is, i'm always second guessing myself, always afraid, always lazy. Thus, my New Year resolution would be to "TAKE RISK". Get out of my comfort zone. Stop being afraid of failure, judgement and everything. Make my 21 a good one (Well, hopefully... *fingers crossed*). GO FOR THE THINGS I WANT. I foresee 2014 would be a year full of decision making? I have to remind myself to keep an open mind on everything and just do it, go after the things I want.

Facts

Firstly, i gotta admit i'm an introvert ( and not proud of that actually ) 
Secondly, this is so true. 
-------------------------------------------------

10 Myths/Facts About Introverts 

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Tumblr 

Realization

People are just people, they shouldn't have the ability to affect our thoughts, feelings and actions.

We, are the ones that are responsible for it. Just yesterday, i get sad over something which i accidentally found out.
But, when i think back, i question myself. It was such a small issue. Why do i even allow myself to feel that way? Why do i allow a tiny weeny small issue to affect my mood? NO MAN. It shouldn't be this way. We can and we should take charge of our mind, emotions and etc.

Someone/something can't make us feel a certain way unless we allow it to. 

Did a bit of google search and this is what i found. 

 "We enter into every situation with certain beliefs or expectations. Those beliefs and expectations directly influence the way we are going to end up feeling about the event or person." 

Your feelings come from your thinking. 

 "Do you take credit for making yourself happy? How about when you are feeling angry or hurt or rejected or abandoned? It is much easier to blame someone else than to be responsible for your feelings."

Isn't it true? It's time to change. 
Time to be responsible for our own feelings and everything.

Repetition

During Art of Story 6p, my faci showed us a video. It's Phil Kaye on Why we tell stories. He started off with a poem and I want to share that beautiful poem with everyone.

"I remember the bed just floating there. Apart, apart, apart, apart. My mother taught me this trick, if you repeat something over and over again it loses its meaning. For example, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework, homework. See, nothing.
Our existence, she said is the same way. You watch the sunset too often it just becomes 6pm. You make the same mistake over and over you’ll stop calling it a mistake. If you just wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. One day you’ll forget why. Nothing is forever, she said. My parents left each other when I was seven years old. Before their last argument they sent me off  to the neighbor’s house. Like some astronaut jettison from the shuttle.
When I came back there was no gravity in our home. Beds floating. I imagined it as a accident, that when I left they whispered to each other I love you so many times over that they forgot what it meant.  Family, family, family, family, family, family. My mother taught me this trick, if you repeat something over and over it loses its meaning. This became my favorite game, it made the sting of words evaporate. Separation, separation, separation, see? Nothing. Apart apart apart apart, see? nothing. I am an injured handyman now. I work with words all day. Shut up, I know the irony. When I was young I was taught the trick to dominating language was breaking it down it down, convincing it that it was worthless. I love you, I love you, I love you. See? Nothing.
Soon after my parents divorce I developed a stutter. Fate is a cruel and efficient tutor. There’s no escape in stutter, you feel the meaning in every word drag itself up your throat s-s-s-separation. Stutter is a cage made of mirrors. Every are you okay? Every what’d you say? every spit it out kid, is a glaring reflection you can not escape. Every terrible moment skips upon its own announcement over, and over, until it just hangs there. Floating in the middle of the room.
Mom, Dad, I am not wasteful with my words anymore. Even now, after hundreds of hours practicing away my stutter I still feel the claw of meaning in the bottom of my throat. I’ve heard that even in space you can hear the scratching of an, I-I-I-I- I love you."

Here's the video my faci showed us.

 Here's another video of him performing repetition. PLEASE WATCH!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another fav of him and Sarah Kay - "An Origin Story" - the story of how they began. 

- Sarah kay is half Jap, half Jewish. Has a younger brother named Philip kay 

- Phil kaye is half Jap, half Jewish, has a younger sister named Sarah Kaye

They have similar surnames too, BUT they are not related, not married, not dating or ever plan on dating. 
They are what I call, SOUL MATES. 

"When the fire takes all you have, my home will be your home.

When you are old and can no longer remember my face, I will meet you for the first time again and again. 

When they make fun of your accent, I will take you swimming because we all sound the same underwater. (HAHAHA)"

" But I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you, and I choose both. I want to share every single one of your sunshines and save some for later. I will tuck them into my pockets so I can give them back to you when the rains fall hard."

" I want to be the mirror that reminds you to love yourself. I want to be air in your lungs that reminds you to breathe easy. When the walls come down, when the thunder rumbles, when nobody else is home, hold my hand and I promise, I won't let go."

Words

 

Sorry :'(

Words

"Sometimes at night I suddenly become aware of all the things I’m missing out on right now, and all the people who I’m not close to anymore, and all of the good times that will never happen again, and all the people who meant the world to me who have forgotten about me forever, and I get this awful feeling that’s kind of like a mix between loneliness and nostalgia"

Think about it

So sick of people having all these can't be bothered attitude.

You guys do know that if this continue, things will start to fall apart. Right ?  
There's only so much I can do.

A big question mark

Why is it that I can only express myself through text.. When it comes to face to face, it’s either I’m lost for words or I stumble over my words.

Words

" It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all "

May is indeed not a good month. How I wish happiness is always with us and it will stay that way forever.
But sadly, I do know that forever doesn't exist and all good things will come to an end eventually.

I’m worried, what does the future hold for us? 

 

 

 My dear friends, please cheer up. It will all get better in time.